2nd Jan 2020

Dear Diary,
So today while I was showering (yes, I am one of those shower geniuses, that have their most brilliant thoughts with foam sliding on their face and their eyes burning), anyway.. As I was saying, I was showering when I started thinking about success, and how one day when I have a child I will teach him that he can be whoever he wants to be and that's the greatest form os success. And the most important lesson is that the only thing in the way of you being who you want to be, is you. From here I thought about alm the arguments people come up with to remove their responsibility in not succeeding in being who they want to be, such as people not allowing them to reach it because of racism, sexual orientation, religion, etc. And I started thinking to myself, before you consider that maybe you should have gotten that manager position instead of lazy Bob, and it must be because of one of those reason I mentioned above or something else, have you thought about what you lack? Have you thought about all the other reasons that maybe justify you not getting it? Maybe you're not a communicative person, maybe they think Bob shows more interest, or works harder (when they are watching anyway). If there is one thing in this society that we love to do (me included), we love to blame others for our failure. We are the only person standing in the way of our success!
That's not to say that some people aren't actually sabotaged because of the reasons above, I am just saying that even if you are then change. Chase after what you want, and if you can't reach your destination in the lane you are, then change it!
I know it sounds really easy, and sometimes it isn't, but I also know that I for one make a lot of excuses of why things are not easy, instead of focusing on making them easier.
Maybe I am too innocent, but it is just one perspective of the world. If anyone has any others then I am always happy to hear them.
I also thought about some other things on the shower, mainly about how in every single minority group, you see prejudice against people on the other side, and if we want people to respect us, we need to respect others, if we want honesty, we need to be honest with others. We can't expect things to be given just because we want them, we need to treat others the way we want them to treat us (as my mum always says). As a woman, I can't show favouritism to other women, just because I feel as a gender our ancestors suffered in the hands of cruel men. If I want to be treated as an equal and have equal rights, then I need to start by doing it myself. I can't expect men to treat me with respect, dignity and honor just because I am part of a group that suffered, I need to treat them like I want to be treated, because besides what people think, we have no rights to make demands on how we should be treated, when we don't do it ourselves.

Anyway, today I am reading this book by CoraLee June called Burnout, and let me tell you that I am 1/4 of the way through and I am loving it! It has the right amount of chemistry, and background story to make me want to finish the boom as soon as I can, but also savour it for as long as I can.